censor

i have always loved to watch…observe…be it in the moment or from afar…my son and my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter.  with my youngest daughter now being the only one living at my home, she gets the bulk of my direct observation…my son and my oldest daughter get the bulk of my pondering perceptions.  i have a video camera with infra-red features.  i thought about video-taping my youngest daughter while she slept tonight (i am working on a dvd to send to my son and his girlfriend…to keep them more in the loop about my youngest daughter, as they live quite far away).  as i watched my youngest daughter engage in her sleep postures and actions, i got to thinking how precious her sleeping is.  and it dawned on me that a video of her sleeping, while a profoundly sincere and dearly intended offering, would in some ways be a violation.  she would have no idea of the experience.  and that didn’t seem right…at least not tonight.  so i  gazed at her as she slept, whispered how much i love her, and cast the image into titanium-like memory.  i will share that memory some day, but you will likely have to be looking into my eyes and listening to my voice to even have a chance to glimpse the power of that moment