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every day i wake up thinking i will be different.  usually i find that i am not any different in the ways that i wanted to be different, and that i am different in the ways that i either didn’t want to be different or didn’t even notice i needed to be different.  so the next day i wake up thinking i will be different in the ways i didn’t want to be different or will notice the ways in which i was different, only to find out that i was different in the ways i originally wanted to be different.  tomorrow i might try waking up thinking everything will not be different